When I was a kid, the invitible question I’d get asked was ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’
I’d always have some difficulty answering this question. For one thing, grown up seemed a long way away. For another, I was sure that by the time I was grown up (about twenty that is) I’d know everything (as grownup seemed to do) and would have life completely sorted.
Alas, the follies of youth. Now that I’m supposedly grown up, I can confidently say that even grownups don’t know everything. Indeed, sometimes the simple world of childhood makes more sense than the complexities of the grown up world.
And, I’m still trying to answer that question. It’s an important one.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why is it important to be the person you want to be? Because without a direction and purpose, it’s easy to drift along without going anywhere.
Which brings us to the topic of goal setting. I believe being able to set and then accomplish goals is one of the most important skills in life. Without some sort of goal, you’re like a boat without destination. And without some sort of system for achieving goals, you’re like boat with no rudder.
I think many people go through school, then uni, then get a job because that’s easier than setting their own goals. I know I did. Everything is so laid out and clear. You do 12 years of school, and each term you get some sort of piece of paper. Then you do the same at uni. Then you go get a job and if you’re not careful, you’ll end up ticking the same boxes and staying within the same guidelines.
What’s missing in a lot of schools is a way for people to define and then map out a pathway to achieving their own goals. This type of rigorous thinking is something I successfully avoided for years.
As Henry Ford said:
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason so few engage in it.”
But I’ve gradually come round to the idea that if I want to take my life in directions that are fulfilling and challenging, the only person who’s going to do that is me. And the first step in that process is setting goals.
So now I’m going to lay out a few things that I’ve found to be really helpful when setting your goals.
Nothing happens unless we first dream
Carl Sandburg
1. Choose something BIG
Firstly, I think it’s crucial to have a big goal, one that really inspires you. If your travel goal is to go south of the Bombay hills, then it’s likely you’ll abandon it at the first difficulty. When you choose something really exciting as a goal, it brings all your creativity to bear. And that creative energy will in turn give you the ability to solve the problems that will always come in your way.
I think it’s also true that to achieve a grand goal, in the process, you also have to grow to accomplish that goal. That’s why great businessmen, artists and leaders continue in what they’re doing long after the need to earn their livelihood through their work is finished. They’ve fallen in love with the process of growing and learning that achieving their goals get them.
The journey is the destination
Someone like Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, or Warren Buffet, has no need to work for a living. Yet they do what they do because in the process of leading a giant software company, or being the world’s greatest investor, there is continual growth.
2. Have a timeline
A goal is a dream with a timeline
Alec Mckenzie
Having a deadline gives you some incentive to get going. Personally I always prefer to work to a deadline. Because work tends to expand to fill the time available, a time limit on your goal will help you stick to the important stuff.
3. Be very, very specific
Don’t have a goal to just ‘travel.’ That’s far to vague and general to act on. Your goal could be to travel across the Amazon in a hot air balloon for two weeks in September with three friends. Or go whitewater rafting down the Ganges river where it comes down from the Himalayas. (I’ve done this, but that’s where serendipity part of goal setting comes in.)
3. Figure out the Why
This is an important one. For example, supposing one of your goals was to be rich. A lot of people have this goal. But why? When you dig down into the real reasons why people might want to have wealth , you’ll often find that what they really want is security, relaxation, more time with their family, time for vacations and more freedom.
Knowing the real reasons behind the goal helps to make good choices. So in our example taking a high paid job wouldn’t be in line with your total goal if it involves working a stressful 80 hours a week with no time for relaxation or family.
I’ve found that sometimes when I examine the real reasons behind a goal, I need to change the goal, because it’s not in line with what I’m really seeking.
4. Accountability
This really works. Tell someone who’s on your side what you’re going to do. For bonus points, tell them when you’ll be doing it by, and ask them to hold you accountable.
I think it was Peter Jackson who used to tell everyone he knew what his goals were. He said he’d do this because after telling everyone, he felt he couldn’t then back down out of sheer embarassment.
You don’t have to take to that extreme, but telling someone else who is encouraging can really make the goal real to you.
That’s it. There’s really no secret formula. When you get down to it, the ability to go for something, maybe not get it first time, but carry on, changing tactics if need be, is what tips the balance in your favour.
There’s a few vital elements of a good action plan, and then it really does boil down to passion, creativity and a certain stubbornness.
Caveat: greener grass and silver bullets
The one thing to look out for when you’re setting your goals is falling into the dangerous thinking of ‘once I get X, all my troubles will be gone.’ Unfortunately (or not) life doesn’t work quite like this.
One challenge leads to another. When you answer one question, you get asked another. And that’s where serendipity comes in.
As Mick Jagger sang:
“You can’t always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need.”
Life has a funny way sometimes of pushing you in the direction you really wanted to go. So while it’s important to have a clear picture in your head of where you want to and why you want to go there, remember that a little trust in life and serendipity can take you to places better than you imagined.
Good luck!
